1. "What is your real job?"
You're looking at it. Contrary to popular belief, I don't just show up and happen to know 500 songs off the top of my head. It took a lot of practicing to get to this point.
2. "Did you go to Berklee/Julliard/[insert name of music school here]?"
Nope---government. There is nothing wrong with music school. However, you can have a successful career in music without majoring in music. On the same hand, having a degree in music does not ensure you will have a successful career.
3. "What does your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other think about you always working/being out all weekend?"
I don't know. Why don't you ask em? Anybody dating a musician knows what they're getting themselves into. Or they find out real fast. Plus, do you think I would let the opinion of any man affect my career choices?
4. "It must be cool to have a job where you can party"
People have a very difficult time comprehending that when I am at work, I am working. Even though YOU are out celebrating your best friend's birthday/anniversary/bachelorette party, I am here because it is my job. Of course, I have a ton of fun at work and I like to think I facilitate good times. However, like any job, there are a number of responsibilities, pressures and stress on me.
5. "How do you know so many songs?"
Once again, it is my JOB. Ya know how you get up every day and sit in traffic and go to YOUR job? Meanwhile, I am practicing, learning new music, booking shows, etc, etc to prepare for the weekend.
6. "Why won't you play my song?"
a) You've asked me 6 times in the last half hour and are starting to get on my nerves. b) You gave me $1 to play a 12-minute song. c) It is wayyyy too early in the night to bust out "Don't Stop Believing". d) I genuinely don't know it. That happens sometimes.
7. "Have you ever thought about trying out for American Idol/America's Got Talent/The Voice?"
Yes, I would love for someone else to have complete control over my performances/career decisions for the next year! Also, just because someone is a performer, it does not mean that their musical aspirations and/or musical styles are geared towards reality TV.
8. "Have you ever thought about playing in a band?"
Sure. I've played in bands before. I enjoy performing with other musicians from time to time. But being in a solid, committed band is hard. It is hard finding time/space where everybody can practice. It is harder to book shows. Plus, I don't really like other people (kidding.)
9. "Can you teach me how to play piano?"
99.7% of the time, this is used as a pick-up line